You’ve toured all around the world. Where are the worst audiences?
Liverpool. All comedians hate working Liverpool because Liverpudlians think yelling out ‘eff off’ makes them funnier than you. They’re unfunny people who think they’re funny. They’re so obvious and banal. Even Scouse comics think that Liverpudlian audiences are parochial and rubbish. Ricky Tomlinson goes on stage at the Liverpool comedy festival, says ‘What’s the point of having a comedy festival in Liverpool? Everyone’s a comedian’ and the place goes nuts. No one else feels that way about them. No one else thinks they’re funny.
I always found Liverpudlians en masse very cynical and punishing towards anyone venturing above the parapet, so I have a lot of sympathy for Burns' observation. It's a sweeping generalisation, or course. Some Liverpudlians are lovely. Like me.
In other news, I shall be running my second half marathon next weekend. I think I'm better prepared this time, although I'm really going to have to resist the temptation to hare off at the start because I'm doing better at endurance than speed this year. My biggest fear, genuinely, is that I'll have inappropriate and annoying music repeating in my head as I run, like Joe Simpson's viral infestation of Boney M's Brown Girl In The Ring towards the conclusion of the events of Touching The Void.
The next couple of months are looking very busy. The project I'm working on has a financial cut-off at the end of May so we have to deliver lots of wins by then, which will mean weekend working. Doctor Who returns to BBC1 next Saturday, which means that if I'm going to maintain any kind of discipline at all, my reviews of each episode for Doctor Who Magazine will have to be complete by the following Monday morning. And the other writing engagement I put out for at last year's North-East England Doctor Who convention is going to happen, so I have a short story to deliver by the end of May.
I am reminded of this sublime observation by Fry and Laurie, in their "Spies" characters. I'm probably paraphrasing (or, to paraphrase that, "lazily misquoting").
CONTROL: Sometimes it rains and it pours!